Yesterday I was hit with overlapping trauma. As a result of that I’ve made several decisions that will take effect immediately. They are as follows:
First, I want to publicly thank thoes who helped me yesterday to get out of a serious downward spiral I found myself in. Your advice and words of encouragement helped me realize that what I’m feeling is ok and that grieving is ok be tho it’s not a straight line. That my fear was normal and that there were things I could do to not only take back my power and that forgiveness isn’t about them but for me. How my actions didnt deserve what I recieved. I will be eternally grateful for the voices and friends who took the time to make sure I was ok.
Second, as a result of the seriousness of the situation from yesterday. I’ve decided the following…
I have decided to unlock my account. I should not and will not allow others to dictate to me how my life should be lived. I’ve spoken to my admins and have put in place certain protections for me and my work. The drama associated with someone taking copywrittten material of mine I will no longer adhere to. The history which is associated with this drama isn’t something that is a positive force and the fear which these people perpetuate onto others is NOT something I’ll tolerate any longer. I’m taking back my power from thoes who’s only daily goal is the destruction of others. I refuse to live my life in fear!!! I won’t subscribe to manipulating tactics,which some tried to use on me yesterday.( This person ended a 4 yr friendship and now has been hard blocked)
My life is an open book I don’t have to hide anything. So instead of assuming or thinking you know what is being infered or what “might” be ask me for I’ll clarify anything. Because you could be seriously wrong about your take on things.. My line of communication will always be open. My stance on dms remain the same as before tho as on my bio. They are reserved.
I’ve lived my whole life under fear and being terrified of losing and failure because of things which were out of my control growing up and followed me into adulthood. I would be subjected to extreme punishments for not performing to their expectations. But as of today, I will no longer condemn myself to the unadulterated pain that comes with this fear.
Many of you know I lost my laptop and and my manuscript and unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances what was saved for a new one had to be used to save my beautiful Bonzai. I know there are those who support my journey for a new one so if you want to help in that journey ask me and I’ll let you know how to help. I will open commissions for my pieces for a short time to help in that endevor.
This next thing is very important. I WILL NOT LET ANYONE DICTATE WHOM I CHOSE TO LOVE!!! MY HEART AND SOUL IS NOT UP FOR SALE!!! There are thoes who have worked tirelessly to destroy my Heart and Soul. By installing fear of some retaliation as a mechanism to control. I will not live my life under the philosophy of “we are cool as long as you don’t step over a line“ ( basically saying as long as I do what you want then you won’t attack me b.s.). You can take that b.s. back over into your corner and play keyboard warrior over there. It won’t fly here any more. Sell it to someone else. I will do everything in my power to protect my Heart and Soul. The biggest mistake one can make is to ever underestimate me.
As of today I take back my control and power over my own life. I’ve survived more trials then I care to mention and I’ve realized that I am stronger then I give myself credit for. I will not cower in the corner fearful of the shadows any longer. I don’t need or want drama in my life. I will continue to be a beakon of light and Love.
Thanks for listening…. It’s my life my choice.©
heaven's sent 